Dylan Parry: Slider Of Reality
by The Mighty DYLDO
Summary: Dylan Parry series. OC me. Basically my journeys through the various fictional universes. This one ends rather randomly and quickly. I don't fall in love with a female character in this one, unlike some OCs!
1. Chapter 1: And so it begins

**The Main Character in this story is a public character. This means that you can use him in your own story, and I won't be all "Oi you're stealing my character.".**

**However, I would very much appreciate it if you asked me before you use my character, by contacting me on ****.**

**This is mostly because the character in this story is… well, me.  
****And, I like the idea of a character that has covered many fictions being written by many different people.  
****Technically he's a crossover character, but it would fit the nature of the story to appear in different fictions, without much reference to how many others he's been in before. [I can get away with it in this one since this is the first one with him. ;) ]**

**  
****What I hope is that one day I'll have a website and be able to collate the stories together. **

**  
****I initially created the idea of a Shifter for use in a Harry Potter fanfiction, but that story was kinda lame, and I deleted it. In fact, I've written a lot of stories with this idea, but all of them were deleted, because, let's face it, it's really difficult to describe the interdimensional portal I imagine in my mind... Also, I kept on making Hermione rather slutty, which was annoying, since my stories were set in the first year of Hogwarts, so... Y'know, that was rather pedophillic. So, I killed the Harry Potter idea, by watching the Philosopher's Stone until I recalled how I didn't really like her look back then.**

**Then I discovered Haruhi Suzumiya.**

**A fiction in which it seemed there was a big gap, just perfect for my character to fit in.**

**[incidentally, you'll notice he mentions being to other universes. This is something I liked from an early stage: Having been to other universes, and fought the... bad guy many times, he would almost be friendly towards him... You'll get what I mean later.]**

**EPISODE 1: HARUHI SUZUMIYA UNIVERSE**

* * *

_Way back a long time ago, when the land was yet to be old,_

_Evil had struck the world, or at least so I'm told,_

_There were no heroes, none at all,_

_Then came the slider, and destroyed it all._

_His eyes burned with a deep black fire,_

_And his foes went to the funeral pyre…_

_He struck them down with his flaming sword,_

_He laughed at each one, he was certainly not bored,_

_He gave them all a look of pure rage,_

_And then put the strongest ones in a cage…_

_And then he became worse than any…_

_For he was the cause of death for many…_

_A song sung by a homeless person precisely one hour before I appeared in a universe based on __medieval combat and royalty._

* * *

I am Dylan Parry. A long time ago, my soul yearned for something special, something adventurous in my life.

Then, one day, as the final preparations occurred for me to go to university, I effectively split in half.

On one side, was the old me, the one who would go forth and try to enter the business world, with the ultimate goal of owning a prosperous company.

On the other, is me. The Slider. The Shifter. The walking fanfiction character.

Yeah. I can transfer between universes, usually fictional ones.

Unfortunately, I cannot control the power.

Or at least, so I originally thought.

Eventually, I discovered that my thoughts could steer where I went before I Shifted.

For example, if I thought of the Teletubbies before shifting, I would find myself in Teletubby Land, or, failing that, any other children's televison show that I mentally connected with the Teletubbies, such as the Tweenies, due to the bright colours.

So far, I have been in many worlds of which I was a fan of its fiction, and each time I entered one, a shady character known only as the Editor appeared. He tried to alter the plot from the original work.

I soon found that I shifted when the plot was back to normal, or at least close enough, so this meant I had to fight the Editor each time over the storyline.

I have fought him so far 53 times.

A lot, especially for someone who still has no idea what he's doing.

And I want to return to my original body. It feels like it's been years since I split from my own reality's plotline.

-

I waved goodbye to the creatures, hoping that this was the last time I would end up having to save a Pokemon related world.

It WAS getting a bit annoying, having to do the same thing each time. At least in the Ranger reality there was a little bit of challenge.

The portal appeared in front of me, as it always did.

I stepped in, trying my best to empty my thoughts, as usual, and also, as usual, thinking of the marshmallow man from the Ghostbusters movie.

I felt the surge of information, as usual, images from every universe pass through my mind and leave it once again.

I now knew where I was going… I suppose it was inevitable, with my powers.

The one character that never entered the Haruhi Suzumiya universe.

The Slider, prophesised by the first episode, but was quickly disregarded by the creators of the program. I always did suspect…

The vortex began to shift and shimmer, and it suddenly felt really uncomfortable.

Then… I faded out of it.

I rematerialised in a classroom.

-

"Okay, today class, we are going to work on the quadratic formula. You know the theory now, so I want you to go on page 32 and do exercise 8A. I just need to go and mark some papers, I'll be back by the end."

_Oh my god, is that a Japanese version of my old maths teacher, or what? She always used to leave us all the time… I practically did all of GCSE and most of A level maths on my own, without any teachers helping… Doc Math was so much better._

I sensed two presences watching me, with the inbuilt paranoia that all humans have.

I looked around, and saw that I was being watched by Yuki Nagato, the alien data entity, and Koizumi… um.. I forget his other name, who was an ESPer, and one of the believers in Haruhi's godpowers.

_Talking about Haruhi… I wonder if anyone else notices that she's been staring at the back of Kyon's head for the past ten minutes._

I watched the two through the reflection in my glasses, quickly blazing through the math questions.

_Hmm. Interesting though how the teacher spoke English… Perhaps my powers give me an inbuilt equivalent of the Babel Fish… Oh my I have SO got to go and meet Arthur Dent next universe._

Eventually, I saw as Haruhi pulled Kyon by the shirt and slammed his head on her desk.

I saw him bleed.

"Ow! What the fuck are you doing, Haruhi! You're going to give me concussion at this rate!" he said, rather loudly. Everyone looked at the two.

_Oh, Kyon… You're angering a freaking godess, simply by your existence… Heh. She has SO got a crush on you, dude._

"Well, maybe if you weren't such an idiot, I wouldn't have to do this!"

_For gods sakes Kyon, even I can tell it, and I'm not the most socially talented person in the world… She wants you to be her boyfriend… And she's being rather forceful in her intentions towards you… Forget about Asahina for a second, since she's probably your daughter from the future [wouldn't surprise me.], and Yuki is… well… The obvious love interest for Koizumi, so I'd say you should treat her as an experiment in humanising an alien._

Kyon looked deeply enraged by Haruhi's comment, and I sensed something weird in his eyes.

_The Editor must've gotten here before I did. He's already gotten to the protoganist… Please don't make him say what I think he's going to say… And I can't exactly do anything awesome in front of Haruhi without causing her to destroy the world. Goddamnit Editor!_

"You know what, Haruhi?" he smiled, "You're right. I have been an idiot. An idiot for giving you the idea of the SOS brigade, for saving your sorry ass all those times… For finding you attractive… Haruhi, goodbye."

_Hmm. Rather less aggressive than the usual Editor manipulation. Clearly, he's allowed Kyon a good degree of control. Unfortunately… These are Kyon's hidden feelings, the ones he never expresses. Shit._

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Koizumi's eyes grow in shock.

Even Nagato looked worried… Or at least, she looked slightly more like Rei from Evangelion [thus a bit more wild.] than her usual doll-like self did.

_Hang on… I thought that they had never met Yuki until they first went to the book club? Thus not being in the same class… Ah well, we'll focus on that plothole later._

Kyon got up and left the room, not looking at anyone as he did so.

Haruhi just looked at the space where he was and looked like she was going to cry.

But she didn't, and then the bell rang. Class was over.

I watched as Haruhi quickly left the room.

I decided to follow. I could probably take Kyon's place and then hopefully enter closed space with her and then take on the Editor.

_He does have a tendency to use pocket dimensions in the reality we're in… He used it a lot in that weird Dungeons and Dragons based universe… Closed Space is very similar, bar the fact that they're generated by Haruhi's emotional state, which due to her feelings are tied to Kyon's status in her life._

I found her sitting in the SOS room, staring at the computer. I knocked on the door.

"Go away!" she shouted, her voice sounding really close to tears.

"You sure?" I asked, knowing exactly what to say, "Because I was kinda interested in joining the SOS, but if you guys don't want any new people…"

I began to walk off, slightly slower than I would have if this ruse was a truth.

The door opened.

"You… You want to join? We haven't had any new members… For a while."

"Yeah, I heard. Besides, this kind of thing is pretty cool… Finding aliens, espers, and time travellers? Not to mention sliders…" I added, smiling widely at the thought.

"You're kidding, right? Most people don't believe me… Besides, who are you? The teacher didn't register you, but you clearly have just joined… Are you another transfer student?" she asked, her face becoming more… Well, normal.

"Pretty much. For some reason, I moved here, and I don't get why none of the teachers have me on the registers… I guess it hasn't updated yet… Ah well. My name's John Smith," I said, thinking of a false name quickly, "And it's a pleasure to meet you, Suzumiya-san."

_Crap. I just remembered that's the name Kyon gave Haruhi when he meets her when he timetravels to the past… Please don't remember that…_

"John Smith… From England, right?" she said, her face looking smug.

"Yeah. I've been to Japan once before, and I recall there being an annoying little girl who didn't believe in the worth of her own existence…" I said, thinking on my feet.

_Hmm. I might be able to pull this off. I just need to remember myself as John. I guess it's lucky that me and Kyon have the same colour hair, and similar colour skin, maybe I have only a very slight couple of shades darker on my skin…_

Haruhi's mouth opened. Then it shut. Then all that repeated.

Rather like a goldfish.

"Are you… Some kind of time traveller?" she asked, looking at me in awe.

"No. But that'd be pretty cool, huh?" I smiled at her, doing my best to pretend that this was the lie I want her to think I am.

_It never pays to let the most powerful being in the universe understand your powers. I learnt that on the Death Star… Urgh being a stormtrooper sucked._

We both chatted for a while, and I soon saw that Haruhi was used to getting her own way in arguments a lot. Surprisingly, she seemed to give in when I made a logical point. Perhaps she idolised John Smith slightly, so she was more willing to give in, since her entire strangeness was caused by him in the first place.

_Hmm. I wonder if she'll make me go on patrol with her or Asahina… She'll probably put me with Asahina if she's treating me like a replacement Kyon…_

SOS began.

And then… I met the others.

Asahina was… Interesting. She must've been the most timid time traveller ever, and it was interesting how… How much like a child towards its mother.

_Girl, stop making it so obvious, or Haruhi's senses will pick up the phermones children create for their parents, and start mothering you… In fact, wasn't there a fair bit of that in the anime? At least… When Haruhi wasn't molesting you… She was brushing your hair and comforting you…_

Koizumi was every bit the smarmy git that I had expected. Not much else to say there. To be honest, I kept my distance from him. I suspected that ESPers could mindread, and there was a lot of stuff in my mind I didn't want anyone to see.

Nagato was… Fairly awesome, in a quiet way.

She was a rather big fan of almost any series that I have seen in book form, and I spoke with her for a long time about the Hitchiker's Guide To The Galaxy series, which, according to her, is a fairly accurate book, in terms of content, not events.

Then came the moment I knew was coming.

"Alright, it's time for us to do patrols of the city! Yuki, you go with Koizumi and Asahina. I'll go with John! We'll all meet at the café and report to me. Now… Let's go!"

_Interesting. She would use this opportunity to berate me if I was Kyon… Hmm. This feels like the kind of time the Editor will do his dramatic revealing…_

We both walked, talking about theories about science fiction, anything relating to Haruhi's interests.

If this was the real world, I would probably find her very attractive… Well, also considering the fact that I'm 18, and she's, what, 16-17?

Then I saw it.

Kyon.

Hovering about ten feet above one of the buildings in the city,

_Goddamnit Editor! Now I have to get rid of Haruhi in order to confront you!_

_I'm just lucky it's close to when we should be going back…_

"Haruhi, you go back and tell the others that we haven't found anything. I want to check this area a little longer." I said, looking deadly serious.

"Why, have you seen something?"

"I think so," I said truthfully, "But I think it moves every time you try to look at it, but not me for some reason."I lied.

She looked at me doubtfully, then nodded.

"Alright. Bring it back to the clubroom if it's interesting, okay?"

"Yeah. Sure."

_I've seen way too many things she would consider interesting in the past year. _

I watched as she ran off.

Then, when I was certain she was far enough away, I shouted to the Editor.

"C'mon then, Eddie, let's get this over with!"

-

"EDDIE? YOU CALL ME EDDIE?!?" he bellowed, hurting my ears slightly.

"Well, yeah. We're almost friends, the amount of time we hang around each other these days, so can't I come up with a nickname?"

"Hmm. True," he said, stroking his chin a bit, "but isn't most of that time fighting and doing battlefield banter?"

"Pretty much…"

We were both silent for a bit.

Then I spoke.

"So, how did you revive yourself this time, and how come you're possessing one of the main characters again?"

"Again? Oh, right, there was that business on that spaceship… the Death Star, was it not? Heh… Darth Vader was an okay host, but the thoughts in his subconscious mind… Whoo, I've never seen so much naked alien flesh…."

"Answer. My. Question." I said, feeling the urge to fight grow.

"Oooh, angry bugger you are this time… Is this another one you were a fan of, hmm? I suppose we might as well get this over with then. I was revived this time when you Shifted over here by a group known as the Data Entity… You heard of them? Apparently, some of their representitives here believe that if Haruhi Suzumiya commits suicide in her grief if Kyon rejects her completely, then there will be a huge surge of data for them to study in the final few moments. So, they gave me a sort of ghostly body that I could use."

"Ah. That explains why you're manipulating Kyon… You're using his subconscious, right?"

"Yeah… I can't quite get the full control of the conscious mind… Ah well, I get much better control over him this way…"

"But he's moving jerkily."

"Yeah… I can't quite get around that bug… But, who cares other than you? Are we going to fight, or what?"

"You know I cannot kill that protoganist…"

"Why not? You been killing them before?"

"No…"

"So how do you know the consequences?"

-

His eyes looked crazed, and I looked mine into his.

Back in my own world, I had been described as a caged animal whilst in a fight.

I move quickly and fiercely, with little regard for anything other than landing hits on the right spots.

I bite, I scratch, and I stab.

I reached into my pocket and grabbed something of mine. A Sliph Scope, designed for viewing ghosts. Usually it works in other universes that aren't Pokemon-related too.

I put them on and saw…

The Editor, in a… well, the easiest description is to imagine the djinn from the Aladdin movies, but a pale green, and with strings coming from it attatched to Kyon's head.

"You've looked better." I said, talking casually.

"Yeah… The process has made me technically dead. You cannot kill me."

"Oh, I worked out that I couldn't kill you a long time ago, Editor… But I can cage you. You go ahead and try to destroy this universe. It won't work. I will take Kyon's place and comfort the girl if you break her mind in such a way."

"Hmm. And what would stop me from killing you?"

"Nothing, except that I'm sure you cannot touch me except via Kyon, and I don't think you have enough control over him in order to hurt me… Which leads me to an interesting thought: why did you posess Kyon when Haruhi herself has a greater spiritual potential, far beyond any that I've seen? Surely you could use your old powercopy ability to…"

"I couldn't get near her. Every time I got close to her mind in this form, I was pushed away by some weird wind in the ghostly plane."

"Hmm. Subconscious defenses. Interesting."

"Yeah. Interesting… And don't think of using Haruhi as a shield, I can just make Kyon stab through her to get to you."

"Hmm… true… Well, you go run along and do some havoc, I've got some people to meet."

"WHAT? You don't care? What about all the lives here, all that stuff you moaned about the last time we met?"

"I am a Slider, true, and my abilities seem to be drawn to you messing up things. If you die through destroying the universe, then I will no longer be drawn to you. Besides, I have a non-violent way of stopping you. But I won't tell you what it is."

The Editor looked at me dumbfounded as I walked off.

_In the past, I've always just charged at him… But I usually get whupped. Whupped badly when I do that. Let's try a different approach._


	2. Chapter 2: GET EQUIPPED

_**Yeah, I forgot to mention this last time…**_

_**All characters other than the Editor and Dylan Parry are copyright of their respective owners.**_

_**Pretty much all of the locations are also copyrighted by their creators, except any which I create, but it'll be obvious which ones are mine.**_

_**I'm not making any profit out of this, I just like to write to avoid doing my assignment on the Apple Corporation [urgh I have to do a PESTER analysis of it, and I can do it all easily… except for social bits… Seriously, what can I say that Apple are doing or have done on a social level? Ah well, better get back to the story… [pm me if you know anything that can help me with this assignment! ;) ]]**_

I was surprised that I managed to get away with that.

Usually when I've fought the Editor, he has a big dramatic reveal, as he just had done, explaining precisely, down to the finest detail, how he's still alive and how he's going to destroy himself and the universe.

And, of course, I naturally charged at him, giving him all that I think I'm capable of, and then get defeated badly.

This time, I changed the pattern.

This time, I heard what he had to say, and then walked off.

_Besides, his confused expression was worth it… One of these days I should ask him why he wants to kill himself and everything around him… He's like the next level of a suicide bomber, but with no illusions of religious or political intention… It's just a desire to die, as far as I can see… Shame he can't find uninhabited realities._

I walked back up the hill to the clubroom. To be honest, I had no idea why the SOS wanted to be back at the club, considering that it was now late evening, and the only way into school from where we were patrolling was up this hill [_Okay, I see what Kyon meant by this hill being evil… It's almost the exact same angle and length as Glanrafon hill back home… Oh my I miss having a normal life now… I wonder what my original plotline-self would be doing now? Probably writing fanfiction… Heh, he's probably writing this right now… That would be eerie. He would wish to be me, but I would wish to be him…_]…

When I finally got into the school grounds, it was dark, and I was amazed to see that every door I passed through was unlocked.

_Once again, an anime universe that has a lot of things that make no sense… It's going to be like that silly Bleach universe all over again… Ichigo was such an idiot… He just hacked mindlessly against that beastie, and I was like "dude, hit it in the BIG FREAKING FACE"… I'm so glad that I was in the universe long before the Soul Society arc… One, I don't really want to see any kind of afterlife just yet, and also, that particular arc had the most over the top bits in the series… Ah, to wield a huge sword with practically no weight, such is the life of a hero._

When I finally managed my way into the clubroom, Koizumi, Yuki and Asahina all came up to me and grabbed me.

"Haruhi's gone, Dylan-san"- Asahina.

"There's been a huge decrease in closed space, which makes me think we're in the calm before the storm."- Koizumi.

"It is possible that your presence in this universe has caused Haruhi to react negatively towards you and the being who came with you."- Yuki.

"Whoa, whoa whoa. Chill, guys. Let's begin at the beginning. Firstly, I haven't seen Haruhi for a bit, I told her to come here, since the Editor appeared, and I didn't want her to see."

Koizumi looked deeply unhappy.

"You made sure she was gone, right? Before you spoke to him?"

"Yes. She was not visible or within hearing range. I can guarantee that… I was watching."

"And did you make sure she didn't come back?"

"Um…"

"Crap." Koizumi said, facepalming.

"Why? Why is it so bad that Haruhi sees something of an unnatural nature? All we need to do is to persuade her that it is hostile to us, then we can all fight it, and her subconscious godpowers will help us, right?"

"Yes, but it will allow Haruhi's imagination to grow. Besides, we suspect that she willed you two in here. You have no control over your powers, correct?"

"Pretty much…. There was an ancient sage on one world who claimed he could train me to Shift controllably, but I shifted just before he could begin. I've learnt how to fight pretty well, and the Editor tends not to do anything that I can't deal with a superweapon, made out of whatever the protoganists of a universe use each episode or story."

"Right… And then you entered this universe, which has nothing like that." said Asahina, her face looking serious.

_Hey, Asahina, keep it up and I would begin to suspect that the cute act is just for Kyon… Same with you Koizumi, start smiling you creepy bastard, or I'm going to get stressed… And Yuki… Um… Actually, you're doing fine with the emotionless construct thing… Carry on._

Yuki looked at me.

"There is a 1% chance of the universe existing after the next three days."

"THREE DAYS? Great. Next you'll be telling me that I need to use various masks that give me superpowers to stop the world-ender…"

They all looked at me, with an interested look on their face.

Asahina pulled out her time travel device.

Yuki pulled out a small phone.

Koizumi pulled out a really posh glove.

I summed it up in one statement.

"Crap. I'll just rest here for tonight, and head for Ganon's castle tomorrow then…"

-

**Yeah, I have been playing Majora's Mask a fair bit in the past month… I'm slightly confused in it though… According to a walkthrough, I'm near the end, but there's something weird with my game where every time I get out of the main center of Clock Town, I end up in what I've recently found out is a Beta area, where you have to fight Majora's Mask with unlimited health, and only your equipment in your C-button slots and your sword to beat it… Thing is, I haven't got any ammo in any of the projectiles, and he moves to quickly and too high for me to slash him… Anyway, that's besides the point.**

**I know this lot has been a bit shorter, but I've been trying to make my writing a bit more consistent and a bit more humourous…**

**I actually have no idea what I'm going to do with what I've written so far, so your guess is as good as mine…**

**[Also, if you want to review, do so, and if you want, send me ideas as to what to do next… If you want, I'll even put one or two of you in as a cameo… Or even your characters in your story! And then I'll read your stories and review them, so everyone's happy!!! :D ]**


	3. Chapter 3: Goddeath, Goddessrise

**Yeah, I know Ganon doesn't appear in Majora's mask people! But I've been playing a lot of video games recently and, well… Yeah. The stories get mixed up.**

**Out of interest, notice how my character doesn't really seem all that interested in Asahina or Yuki, like some self-inserted Authors do… That's because… Well, if I was in this Dylan's situation, I probably wouldn't find them all that attractive.**

**It's difficult to explain properly, but a fictional character is… well, fictional. And when you're in a fictional universe, like the Suzumiya universe, you notice flaws in the characters… For example, you start noticing similarities in appearance between Kyon to Asahina and Haruhi to Asahina, and begin to think that Asahina is Kyon's daughter, which puts one right off of her.**

**There's other stuff too that would put me off fictional characters if I was in their universe, but I'll mention them as they come.**

**[NOTE: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR THE EDITOR AND DYLAN PARRY, AND BESIDES, THE CONCEPT OF DYLAN PARRY'S POWERS IS PARTIALLY BASED ON JENNY EVERYWHERE AND ALSO ON THE IDEA OF A SLIDER. THE EDITOR IS BASED ON ALL THE OVER THE TOP VILLAINS YOU SEE IN CARTOONS. MY WORLD IS BASED ON THE REAL WORLD, DUH, AND THE INTERDIMENSIONAL PORTALS SHIFTERS PASS THROUGH IS PROBABLY LOOSELY BASED ON THE SWIRLY TIME VORTEX OF DOCTOR WHO, OR MAYBE EVEN THE SWIRLY VORTEXY WORMHOLE IN STARGATE. I DON'T MAKE ANY PROFIT FROM THIS, ALTHOUGH THAT WOULD BE EPIC… PM ME IF YOU WANT TO SEND ME MONEY, AND I'LL GIVE YOU A PAYPAL ADRESS TO SEND IT TO… ;) ]**

I woke up in Yuki's house, sweating.

I was spending all night learning how to use the various equipment that the three characters gave me. There was no way I could use more than one at the same time.

The time travel device was rather simple, although it heated up enough to burn my flesh if I used it too much, usually if I use it at least 6 times in one hour of my personal time.

The Glove was a little more tricky, but I soon found that if I wore it and focused really hard, I could pass through into Closed Space. Also, whilst in this space, I could fire energy balls, merely by thinking of the Super Mario Brothers Fire Flower.

The mobile phone was interesting, as it allowed me to type in things that I wished to be data manipulated, and then Yuki would receive the information from anywhere, and phone me, chanting the words needed to change the object.

Eventually, I wore myself out, as apparently, all of these objects drew upon my own strength.

I fell asleep, thinking that I had pretty much mastered them.

I had a shower, then got myself and Yuki breakfast.

Eggs are awesome. No, really, when you've been unsure whether you're going to shift in any second, you get used to eating on the run, but a sit-down meal with an alien with the most perfect scrambled eggs on toast that man has ever made is the most lovely thing ever.

Then I had a glass of juice.

Not much interesting to say there, except that is was a mixture of pomegranate and apple, two of my favourite juices.

It's true! I love pomegranate!

Then… I to the armoury, an underground room that Yuki made in the night.

Asahina, Yuki and Koizumi were to go to school, and propagate the rumour that I was ill. It was odd, but according to Yuki, the Data Entity were withholding a lot of information from her… I supposed this could be because the Data Entity gave the Editor a ghostly form, and they simply just didn't wish to admit the truth to Yuki.

But, I wasn't too fussed about the internal politics of this universe. My job was to destroy the Editor, or at least contain him.

I suited up in an outfit that reminded me of the suits in the Painted Black arc of the webcomic series El Goonish Shive: Perfectly fitting, slightly bulletproof, and rather awesome.

I shaved myself [for the first time since before my first Shift], and packed a lot of weapons into a bag that seemingly had no bottom.

Interestingly, Yuki seemed to have a collection of what appeared to be colourless Pokeballs, but they seemed to be either replicas or prototypes that she was making, since they were empty and didn't work.

It was possible that she had seen the Pokemon series and was trying to make a Pokeball… As a hobby?

I ignored this and headed out.

I basically just wandered around the place.

I hung around a park for a while, reading a book. Asahina said that my presence in this universe is unknown in her time, so she couldn't say when the Editor would strike.

After a while, I remembered that I was in Japan, and thus, Akihabara, or whatever it is called, would be much closer to me than it would be in my own universe, since I live in Wales.

Thus, I would be close to the gamer equivalent of Mecca.

I checked on Yuki's phone where I was.

Apparently, the area I was in was called Nishinomiya.

Now, to get to Akihabara, it would take a really long train journey.

Shame.

I always did want to go there…

Eventually I got bored of waiting in the park, and wandered around some more.

Nothing happened.

Then I saw a small arcade.

Inside the small arcade I saw a flash of lightning.

_Hmm. I wonder if the Editor is here…_ _Are random lighning strikes coming from arcade machines common? I think not. Therefore, this is some kind of challenge. _

I walked into the arcade, knowing that the last time I was in a universe based on a video game, I beat the Editor easily. Therefore, my confidence was rather high when I saw the game he had been sending out his lightning to draw me in.

"My good sir, are you serious? I'm so good at Mario Kart that you'll be bleeding red shells for months!"

Kyon was sitting at the machine, and putting on my Sliph Scope, I could see the Editor, lounging on the bit above the seats, with his spiritual strings tied to Kyon's throat.

"_Yes… You are good at racing in many worlds… But will you be good at this one? Notice that it is not Mario Kart, as you assume, but it is Oiram Kart. A game of my own making that I created for this world._"

"You really think I'm an idiot enough not to recognise that it's a kart-racing game with Mario? Or have you changed the game enough that it would be difficult for me?"

"_The latter, I should think. You are, after all, a rather intelligent adversary._"

"Oh, thanks!"

I sat down in the seat next to Kyon, and the Editor moved off the seat, and entered Kyon's body.

_Vagina-munching crabsticks! I won't be able to get him into Closed Space unless I can get him out of Kyon!_

He put in a bit of money. I didn't see how much, but I guessed it was something equivalent to £1.

[1 Credit Inserted!]

"_That will give us one race. If you die in the game, you die here. I've persuaded the Data Entity to make me slightly more mortal for this, so it will be fair._"

"How did you get so close with the Data Entity?"

"_I just told it what it wanted to know… I'll give it the data some of them want caused by Haruhi's destruction of reality, and they will allow me a form with which I can do it, so that I can be destroyed myself._"

"But why do you want to be destroyed?"

"_I'll explain as we race._"

He allowed me to select the course, so I picked a tricky one that I knew well- the Pinball level from the DS version of Mario Kart. I knew some tricks I could use, which should still apply, no matter what.

We started the race, but something… odd transpired.

It felt like I was really there.

I looked at the Kart next to me, and saw Kyon, in a Mii form.

I looked at myself in my Kart's mirror.

It was my Mii from my Wii.

_Bugger. He's got something weird going on with the Data Entity… If it all goes wrong, I'll just time travel back, I suppose…_

A Lakitu, but bright purple appeared above us.

"READY? GET STEADY… GO!"

I accelerated at the right moment, and got the boost I wanted.

But so did the Editor.

We both went into the acceleration pipe at the exact same time.

We shot out.

Round the Bend…

Up the ramp…

Down the spirally road…

Dodge the ball…

And yet he seemed not to have any desire to explain himself to me.

Yet, we were still side by side.

We both got item boxes, and both got the same thing- bananas.

I tried to throw a banana in his path and he did the same to me.

We were perfectly matched.

It was when the music for the final lap began when I noticed what the Editor had done.

Little fireballs started to appear on the course, making it difficult to race.

They didn't damage the Editor, but I felt their heat sear my flesh.

I accelerated as quickly as I could through the main pinball area, feeling my flesh begin to burn, and I noticed that as my skin melted off, it turned into a pixellated mess behind me, where the Editor was racing, having being narrowly missed by a Marble a few seconds prior.

The Editor's kart slipped on the pixellated ashes of my skin, which was still coming off me, and his kart span out, and then he was hit by another marble, crushing him.

I had won.

Or at least, so I had thought.

My mind returned to my body, and I saw the Editor laughing at me. But now he was separate from Kyon… Which was good for the plan, of course, but I want to find out a few things…

_Tell me if I'm wrong, matey, but shouldn't you be dead now? I mean, you did say I was going to die…_

"_You thought I would be able to die in such a way, mortal?_" he said, laughing, "_Hah! If only it was that easy. I wish for nothing more or less than oblivion. I have watched as my life, my family, my universe burned around me, and I want nothing more than to join them. Even if it means killing others to get there._"

"Why did your universe get destroyed?"

"_WHY? It was killed by one like you. A Slider. I have no idea why he did it, he probably did it on a whim._"

"So you survived… And now you go from universe to universe, trying to kill yourself, in your grief. But, in doing so, you destroy universes."

"_I just want it to END!_"

"Editor… What if I said I could help? If I could… Make you die the death you deserved… Or perhaps you could come with me, and we can find a universe where your world carried on existi-"

"_No."_ He said, cutting me off, "_I have seen enough of reality, and some poor copy will not be enough. Besides, your powers appear to be focused on fictional universes. My universe is unknown in your world. I am certain of it. I am the exile from the land of immortals, and the only way to destroy one us is to destroy all of reality around me… So there's no way you can bring about my death without breaking your own morals… Something which is highly precious. I have fallen, and fallen far, but I will keep to the path which I have set, and destroy a universe that I inhabit._"

"Wow. That's a lot of exposition. But there's something you've forgotten…"

"_What is it?_"

"Y'know, I'm not going to tell you!" I laughed, then ran off.

I knew he couldn't resist. His spiritual form separated from Kyon's body, and it slumped to the ground. I could see that Kyon was now breathing, and I hoped he would be okay.

_After all, from what he told me, he sounds like a twisted version of me. Instead of randomly being torn from my universe, his universe was completely destroyed. He was pushed out of it somehow, then he met me, and we've been fighting each other for years. He's so much like me… He will be curious what I'm not telling him… Unless his suspicions are holding him back. Better goad him into following me… But I need him in the right place._

I put on the glove, and I could feel the ebb and flow of Closed Space being around me, even though I hadn't travelled into it.

I could see that he was still floating after me, and I found a good spot, a place where the transition into Closed Space would be easy.

"_WHAT IS IT THAT YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?!?!?!?!?_" He said, lunging for me.

I dodged his hands, and grabbed his body with the glove, then… well, I would call it shifting if I wasn't using that word for travelling between universes… Ah, what the heck, I shifted into Closed Space.

There was a flash of light, and then there was darkness.

Then my eyes focused.

The Editor's spiritual form had turned into a more normal form. I could see the distinct colours of his skin, and he had grown legs, since his almost djinni-like form was incapable of existing here, outside of the jurisdiction of the Data Entity.

I knew what was needed to be done.

"Do you know what this is, Editor?" I said, holding up a black box.

"_That… That's the Time Travel Portal Device… The TTPD. I would presume that you stole it from the obvious love interest character?_"

"Oh, Editor… So negative… Asahina gave this to me, and Kyon is more likely to fall in love with Haruhi… Besides, I'm pretty sure that Asahina is Kyon's daughter from the future or something… I once read a really convincing fanfiction about it, and it makes sense, canonically… Okay, maybe not her future self telling him that he could have his way with her past self, but the rest of the storyline makes sense with it."

"_Oh for god's sakes, stop going ON about it!_ _I get it, you have a theory, I've had enough about that, you have a theory about a side character in EVERY universe we've fought! I mean, there was the Tails is gay theory, then there was the whole The Cullens are some kind of bizarre intergalactic hyper stone trolls theory, then there was the theory that Rosalina thought you were attractive, which, by the way, is not true, since her mindset was towards Lumas, and there was a huge amount of pheromone release every time she looked at Polaris or the few Super Stars that Mario had as a backup in the pockets of his overalls… In fact… You have a lot of theories, mostly towards the female side character of most universes!_"

_Blimey, you go on a bit._

"That's besides the point. You wish to die, right?" I said, waving the device in the air, trying to see if he gets the idea.

"_Yes…_"

"And you know this is a time machine, right?"

"_Um… Yeah…_"

"You really don't get it, do you? I can send you forward in time within this reality, to the very end point, and then the entire universe will shrink and be annihilated, and hopefully you will die. Because there'll be no universe."

"_Huh._" he said, looking confused.

I strongly suspected that he hadn't thought of the universe dieing naturally, since he had been wrapped up in his own hate for so long.

"_You know… I agree. I will use your device to end my suffering._"

"Good, because you'll be ending mine too."

"_Heh. We've had a long run together, right?_"

"Don't start getting nostalgic on me, Eddie, I'm just trying to return to my own universe."

"_Hmm. You seem reluctant to get close to anyone, even one similar to you. Remember when we first met, and you charged at me madly with that huge obviously Excalibur-based sword? Simply on the word of a small female knight, just because she said I was an evil being? Why did you believe her so feverently?_"

"Because… I knew her... Somehow. All these characters, in all these tales… They are different from your ordinary human. They will rarely lie, and when they do, it's usually for the greater good, and not the greater good that people in universes like ours believe in, which is a universal excuse to do terrible things… If one of them tells me you're evil, I'm very likely to agree, because often they haven't been written fully enough to even be capable of telling falsehoods. Take Captain N as your example. Great hero, blasts random beasities from different Nintendo-related universes, but can you imagine him lieing to anyone over a serious matter, except for his main enemy, Mother Brain? No! That is because his character was created without that capability. He was, to pardon the expression… Born to be good."

"_And you and me… aren't?_"

"We're different, because we have a choice. Good, evil, it all depends on who's perspective you're looking at… And in yours and my cases, we're both partially justified in what we're doing. Me because I'm protecting innocents, and you because you wish to end some suffering since you will probably forever feel like an alien in most universes."

"_Wow, thanks for the encouraging words… Now I feel even more depressed._"

"Oh, stop being such a Marvin and pay attention. I will carry on doing what I do, and I will take orders from no-one, and not get close to anyone, because I will constantly be on the move, such is the nature of my ability. You will die now. Go on, go. And make sure you don't show up in front of me, especially when I'm hanging around a fictional character I quite like, like Haruhi."

"_Urgh… Slash fanficton writer._" he jokingly called me.

"Miscellaneous bad-guy!" I called back, handing him the device.

He pressed the big button in the middle [**Note: I don't really think they would have made it complicated for Asahina… Seriously, the girl's such a Ditz, the only thing that prevents me from making me think she's the slow Kyon's daughter is the fact that if she knew this, she'd blab it by accident…**] and then he disappeared in a rainbow effect.

I left Closed Space and slowly wandered back to the school, thinking of what I had just done.

_I've just sent a god to death. Does this make me… Like Nietzsche? Heh. God is dead. It's such a shame that he had to die…_

I went to the clubroom, and gave the equipment back to each of the characters, except Yuki, who claimed that it would let me phone any universe when I eventually learn how to use my powers.

I waved them all goodbye, knowing that there was little time left, and felt an interdimensional portal open in front of me, as usual.

I saw Haruhi enter the room, whilst the glowy portal was still in front of me.

_Hey, what the heck, the portal's already open, and I'm curious whether I can make things go wrong and still move on to another dimension._

"John?" She said, her eyes wide in terror at the portal.

I jumped over, really close to her, partially ready to leap back if she tried to hit me.

I leaned into her ear.

"Haruhi?" I whispered, softly enough no-one else could hear.

"Y-yes?" she stammered, looking more fearful.

"You're a goddess. Yuki's an alien-humanoid interface, Koizumi's a esper, Asahina's a time traveller, and I'm a slider. Kyon is an ordinary mortal who is the only one who's capable stopping you from destroying this universe. I'm leaving now, and you will not be able to catch me, despite all of your godly powers, Haruhi."

"But…"

Her head swang back, her eyes glowed a deep yellow, and changed shape. She looked like a really Japanese anime-based version of a supervillain in the Spiderman cartoon I liked [not the original, I mean the one which had the arc with Madame Web and the different universe Spidermen… **holy crap I've seen a lot of things with characters from different universes interacting…** The one that lead to the Spiderman alternate reality thing with Jameson's son, which was pretty epic, as far as Spiderman goes… I'm going off topic.].

She walked towards me, clearly trying to stop me, but she was moving slowly, as if her mortal mind was slowing her.

"Heh. Catch me if you can, Brigade Chief… And besides. My name isn't John Smith. That was Kyon when he went back in time. I just picked the name randomly, as did he. My name is Dylan Parry."

I jumped into the portal.

_Yeah. Dylan Parry: Slider of Reality… to quote a disneyfied character, "If I ever get home I'm going to write a book about this place…"_

**Holy crap I wrote a lot… Yeah it was a bit bizarre, but I couldn't really think of any way to end it… I hope those of you out there felt inspired at the beginning to write Dylan Parry stories, and ROCK ON!**

**[note: I rated this as M just so I had freedom to swear if I wanted… I probably could have gotten away with T, to be honest, if I didn't mention the accidental pedophillia in my first attempt at a OC fanfic… But who gives a damn, I'm doing this for fun and enjoyment, not to please others! If you like it, review, and I might write more, because this was rather fun, for something that took 2 years of thought and attempts, and three days of actual writing…]**

**[And yeah, I would LOVE to go to Akihabara… It truly is one of the places I must go before I die. I might try to learn Japanese before going there, otherwise buying mangas over there will be a bit pointless, considering that I doubt they would translate them into English for a Japanese-speaking local people, would they? I dunno.]**

**[ and yeah, the haruhi universe is buggered now that Haruhi has conscious control of her powers… But that's a story for another writer… So long!]**


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